Some fields will blossom while others lay brown beneath the August sun.

[baldrshand]

Who: Ethlyn and others
Where: Mostly around Aldrip
What: Open log for August!
Warnings: Probably thinking about her own death in here.


Keeping busy
[She's been feeling unsettled since last month's journey to the desert, so much so that part of her wishes she hadn't gone at all. That's not a very productive or mature feeling, in her opinion. Still it is there, dogging at her heels as she buys vinegar for the clinic, fruit for her kitchen, takes her boots to be mended after their punishment in the hot sands.

She's so focused on getting her tasks done that she's too busy checking her little list to realize she's about to walk right into another person--until it's too late to stop it.]

Oh no--! Sorry!!

More monsters more problems

[Ethlyn's already somewhat used to the wildness of the animals that live around town, but they've still been animals that she recognizes. She can handle precautions against wolves and wildcats and territorial deer.

What she's not expecting to see as she gathers medicinal herbs in the woods is a huge... mossy boulder... with eyes. And arms. And a froglike mouth. And disproportionately tiny little legs.

She's frozen for a moment until it lumbers past the clearing she's in, and then she backs away slowly.]

I have never see that before.

The voices

[Ethlyn is sleeping less than soundly in her room at the boarding house. This time the new arrivals aren't people--they're plants and animals, some benign and some frightening. Between that and other people's disturbing speculation on the plantlike colossus that attacked the town in May, she's been somewhat on edge.

She's sure it's only the remnants of a dream when she hears a familiar voice--but then it comes again as her eyes fully open. She hasn't heard that voice in months. The last time she did...

She's up and out of bed in a moment, pulling on her boots over bare feet, throwing a coat over her nightdress, her sword in one hand and her staff as she pelts downstairs and out the front door. Quan's voice, calling her name away towards the meadows, and she doesn't hesitate to hurry and find it.]

Quan! Where are you!

Wildcard!

[None of these starters suit? Hit me with your own, or hit me up in the discord, via PM, or @ compassinks to plot something out!]

Comments

[baldrshand]

[Ethlyn shakes her head, an automatic response. No, nothing... nothing happened. She faced down some specters with William, but his benediction put them to rest before they could do any harm. The rest of the trip had been unsettling, of course--a town abandoned in such an eerie way couldn't be anything else. But it wasn't like a few months ago with the brands and the monster.]

It was mostly just investigating an old town that had been abandoned. There were some 'infected' beings at night--they had brands like the ones from--a few months ago. [Like the one Marianne had suffered, and Ethlyn winces at the inelegant way she says it.] But they didn't touch me.

[She sounds less certain, though. Ethlyn's long since learned that there are many ways that disease can spread, and air is one of those ways. Is it possible that the specters did pass something on, and it's only starting to have an effect now?]

[snowslip]

I'm glad you weren't injured.

[ A troubled expression crosses Marianne's face to hear about the existence of other branded, however. It frightens her to think the curse is spreading, affecting other areas and even her friends who had been fine before. She wrests briefly with her pessimistic thoughts, reminding herself not to jump to conclusions. Hadn't she decided to try and look forward for a change? Ethlyn would be alright. She mustn't let her dark thoughts overwhelm her, or she'll be the one unable to sleep at night. ]

I hope it's nothing to do with the brands. Maybe...maybe you're just tired?

[baldrshand]

Maybe. I... haven't been sleeping very well since then.

Not because of the brands. [She hastens to add that, knowing that it will immediately sound connected.] I haven't found any marks on myself. I just have a hard time not thinking about what we saw out there.

[And now to hear her husband's voice... there's certainly no chance of her getting back to sleep tonight.]

[snowslip]

What's been troubling you? If you want to talk about it, that is.

[ She wonders what could have happened out there in the desert, but Marianne doesn't wish to pry. She knows all too well the fear of opening up to someone. It's enough to know that Ethlyn hadn't been marked. ]

[baldrshand]

...I don't know.

[She pushes her hands through her hair. She didn't even tie it back properly before rushing out the door.]

I mean, I do want to talk about it. [She takes a moment to sort through her thoughts, trying to unjumble them.

At least Marianne knows already. That makes it a little easier, maybe.] I've been in dangerous situations here before. The expedition through the forest, the monster in May. And we went from the desert and back in the blink of an eye, so it isn't as though there's anything I see every day to remind me, but... I keep thinking of it. And I keep thinking of the desert where I...

[She has to pause to take a breath. She's been able to talk about this before, so matter-of-factly, and now it's a struggle.]

Where I died.

[snowslip]

It must have been painful to remember.

[ Marianne reaches out to gently touch Ethlyn's shoulder. As if encountering cursed creatures weren't enough of an ordeal, it would throw anyone off to travel someplace resembling one's grave.

Marianne has watched people pass on in the battlefield. As a healer she has knelt by them and witnessed their agonizing last moments more than most. It may be that Ethlyn is carrying the regrets of that day with her. She knows her friend possesses a sense of responsibility that's stronger than most. ]

You've been doing so much, Ethlyn. I worry you've been pushing yourself too hard.

[baldrshand]

[Ethlyn shuts her eyes when she feels the touch of Marianne's hand. If she's honest with herself, there is truth in that. When the call went out for people to mount an expedition somewhere dangerous, Ethlyn didn't hesitate to add herself to the list of volunteers. She didn't even give a thought to being sent to a desert... as though she didn't even need to consider the matter.]

I wasn't expecting it to affect me... not this badly. I didn't--I didn't consider it at all.

[Looking back, that seems shortsighted at best. And yet if she had, would she have held back? Or would she have forced herself to ignore it and go anyway?]

You're probably right. [She gives Marianne a small smile. Noel's told her the same thing more than once lately.] I know that there are plenty of people here who can fight, and heal, and do the other work that I do. It's just hard for me not to do everything I can.

[And to do all of it, always.]

[snowslip]

You couldn't have known. Anyone would be unsettled.

[ It wasn't a fault or failing of hers. Something like death wasn't trivial to go through. Goddess knows Marianne has been shaken by less. If anything, she thinks it was brave of Ethyln to answer the call knowing where it would take her. ]

Is it because you feel responsibility as our leader? You don't have to take on everything, we're here to support you, too.

[ She's sure any of the Arztenritter would ride out to help at a moment's call. When she had heard voices, its whispers made her feel as if she was alone, and that no one else would understand. But as she discovered, that wasn't true. The same goes for Ethlyn now. ]

[baldrshand]

[Is it? In part, it is that. But Ethlyn knows she's been like this since long before arriving here. Arztenritter or no, she thinks she would have gone to the desert. Something needed to be done, so she had done it....]

...I know. It's something I learned from my family, I think. That if you see something that needs to be done, then doing it is up to you.

[That's characterized their lives, hasn't it? Her father's support and advice to Prince Kurth, her brother's immediate charge across the Verdane border. And after the Duchess passed away, her husband and son had gone to pieces, and the only person to pick them up was her daughter.]

Maybe I'm not used to having that kind of support. For... my feelings.

[snowslip]

That sounds like you. Even when we were new to this world, you started the troupe and brought all of us together. I think it's admirable how determined you are.

[ Ethlyn had jumped in to make things happen while Marianne had still been reeling from being transported to a new world. She didn't realize her friend had been grappling with the loss of her home and her family, not until that night they sat and prayed together under the stars. Ethyln had been so strong even in her grief. It's understandable that she may not be used to receiving support. Marianne knows how long she kept to herself and how frightening it can be to open up to others. ]

Maybe that can change? You can still do all that, but you don't have to do it alone.

[baldrshand]

[Ethlyn smiles a little. Maybe it's admirable, but she really doesn't know any other way to be.

Still, Marianne has a point. Nobody can do all of it alone. And the burdens Ethlyn has been carrying, not knowing how she can lighten them, are weighing on her in a way that she can't just push through anymore with determination and busyness.]

Yes... you're right. I know you're capable, and so is everyone else in the Arztenritter. [Ethlyn didn't even consider asking anyone else to join the expedition. Emet-selch had gone to the desert of his own volition, but she could have asked for a volunteer.] That's what I always used to tell my brother when he charged off somewhere without even thinking to ask for help... he didn't even want to take his own knights, they had to insist. How embarrassing that I've been doing the same thing.