["Ssssteeaaaal hisss chickensss," the snake had said. A strange request, but Fandaniel decided it would be unwise for him, of all people, to ignore a talking snake telling him to commit mischief.
The chicken theft was simple, even if a few of the feathered fiends chased him out of Kurama's farm. Too simple. If he is going to break the system, a more dramatic crime is in order.
He twirls around a lamp post in the heart of Aldrip, pauses, and bends backward like a dancer to smile at the nearest passing Chosen.]
A moment, pray!
[His free hand reaches into his robe and pulls out a small pistol.]
I'm going to shoot you in the face. Nothing personal, of course!
[A pause.]
This is your chance to speak your last words. I highly recommend making them as dramatic as possible.
IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA
[The garden stretches around him in an emerald sprawl. Trees hang overhead, alive with birdsong. The herbal smell of flowers and pine needles tickles his senses. Through it all, he sees no beauty.
Fandaniel sees trees that will one day wilt, flowers that will soon wither, and birds that will soon feed the worms they currently feast on. Hideous, all of it.
Still, he keeps a breezy smile on his face as he pads barefoot along the loamy paths. Birds, he realizes, start following him. Before long, he's standing in a clearing with a colorful rainbow of feathers encircling him along the branches. He feels like they are peering into his soul. Hermes's soul.
Do they see the Father of Birds in him somewhere?
He laughs as others wander into the clearing.]
Believe it or not, they did this on their own!
HALLUCINATE (cw: suicidal ideation)
[The garden warps around him. Colors turn gray, the earth rots, the wind stills, the bird song ceases. The landscape around him shifts into an endless expanse of cracked, barren earth. In the distance rises a crystal tower that had once sparkled in the light of the sun but now sits like a spear of clouded glass beneath a dark sky that hangs too low.
It's a dead world, but not one blighted by his apocalypse. This world died slowly as the stars drifted apart. It was a brutal, agonizing death.
He turns and sees a figure wrapped in a familiar dark robe lying beneath a rock. The realization that he's staring at his own corpse makes him dizzy. His corpse is skeletal, but not yet dust. After countless centuries, he, an eternal Ascian, remained as the only living thing until the world itself finally ceased to be.
Passersby in the garden will see Fandaniel flinch.]
[ Having complied with the snakes' request already, Arlecchino can't exactly complain about others doing the same. And having done a bit of browsing on her tablet, she's aware that the man now pointing a gun at her is — charitably — a bit of an odd bird.
She looks at him evenly, scrutinizing him with crimson eyes. If there's any truth to the snakes' claims, it will benefit them all to let Fandaniel commit some form of crime against her. Not the crime of getting shot in the face, because she is rather attached to having a face. But something.
After a moment, she brings a plaintive hand to her chest, her posture melting into that of a feeble gentlewoman. ]
Oh, I beg of you. Anything but that.
[ The dramatic lilt to her voice is overly sweet. He did ask for drama. ]
Please, you can have my valuables, but do spare me my life.
Fandaniel | ota
IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA
HALLUCINATE (cw: suicidal ideation)
crimes!
She looks at him evenly, scrutinizing him with crimson eyes. If there's any truth to the snakes' claims, it will benefit them all to let Fandaniel commit some form of crime against her. Not the crime of getting shot in the face, because she is rather attached to having a face. But something.
After a moment, she brings a plaintive hand to her chest, her posture melting into that of a feeble gentlewoman. ]
Oh, I beg of you. Anything but that.
[ The dramatic lilt to her voice is overly sweet. He did ask for drama. ]
Please, you can have my valuables, but do spare me my life.
no subject
[Fandaniel twirls around the lamp post and lands on his tip toes, pistol pointing upward.]
Alas, I've little use for valuables.
[He purses his lips as he considers his options. Shoot, or enjoy some play acting?
Maybe both?]
I could shoot you elsewhere. Perhaps a well-meaning soul will hear your screams and happen upon you in time to save your life.
Would that be preferable?
no subject
If you're asking, then I would really prefer not to get shot at all. Is your bloodlust so insatiable, O hooded one?
[ The drama that was in her voice is already sliding into thinly veiled sarcasm. She tried, briefly. ]
no subject
[He does want to destroy all life after all.
A grin lights up his pale features.]
Having already committed theft, a paltry crime, I'm sure you'd agree, I feel 'tis time for something rather more gruesome.
no subject
[ Crime connoisseurs out here... ]