[He might leave that part out, but she's thinking it, just the same as he is. If Ryoji hadn't been there, she might have killed him. She could have killed him. She probably would have killed him. Her face scrunches up in spite of herself, and she ducks her head again, squeezing her eyes shut as she takes a deep breath to try to compose herself.]

I don't ever wanna hurt you, [she manages, choked through gritted teeth.] Not like this, not ever. You're... you're the most important person to me.

[She'd die to protect him, over and over again. And yet... she'd still done this to him. Cupping his cheeks gently with both hands, she forces herself to look him in the eye, trying to impress her seriousness upon him.] I gotta do something to make up for it. Please?

[Maybe it's selfish, but it feels like she has to do something.]