[ it does help, the minutes that pass in comfortable silence — for him to beat down the instinct to not talk about any of it, the deeply ingrained feeling that all it's going to do is show just how inadequate he is in every way —
but he promised. he promised, and he wants to trust that even if he's inadequate and flawed and just not enough, at least he'll be enough for junpei just like this. ]
Right, [ he says and runs a hand through his hair. ]
Right, let's... come on.
[ instead of answering, he takes junpei's hand and tugs him along into the bedroom, pulls him down to sit next to him on the bed, still holding his hand in his. ]
This isn't really how I thought we'd be doing this, [ he says with a half-smile, meaning taking his shirt off, that is — not that him having his undershirt on has stopped them from sleeping together, really, but it's the principle of the thing. ]
Wanna help? [ not for sexy reasons, but mostly so that he doesn't feel so — like this is a necessary evil to get through. ]
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but he promised. he promised, and he wants to trust that even if he's inadequate and flawed and just not enough, at least he'll be enough for junpei just like this. ]
Right, [ he says and runs a hand through his hair. ]
Right, let's... come on.
[ instead of answering, he takes junpei's hand and tugs him along into the bedroom, pulls him down to sit next to him on the bed, still holding his hand in his. ]
This isn't really how I thought we'd be doing this, [ he says with a half-smile, meaning taking his shirt off, that is — not that him having his undershirt on has stopped them from sleeping together, really, but it's the principle of the thing. ]
Wanna help? [ not for sexy reasons, but mostly so that he doesn't feel so — like this is a necessary evil to get through. ]