[ well, listening-listening doesn't mean he's not going to take the plates handed to him and put them on the rack to dry... but in the current absence of plates, he's going to focus on junpei — and as he does so, the way he freezes at the question is almost painfully obvious. his smile doesn't falter; of course it doesn't, it's his immediate response in a situation like this, too ingrained in him for him to drop it... but it's the kind of smile that never quite reaches his eyes. ]
It's, [ he starts, that smile still firmly in place, ] It's nothing. I mean, it's fine, it's not —
[ and god, he can hear himself, knows that the halting words are all too close to taking that out offered to him; but what if he does? will he simply continue to keep his shirt on like he has for now, every day when they're together? and it isn't that he doesn't trust junpei with the knowledge — of course he does. but somehow, carrying junpei's burdens for him is far easier than letting him carry his burdens in return.
and yet, they promised. they promised. ]
... It's just going to upset you, [ he says finally, looking down and then up again, meeting junpei's eyes with a wordless apology. ]
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It's, [ he starts, that smile still firmly in place, ] It's nothing. I mean, it's fine, it's not —
[ and god, he can hear himself, knows that the halting words are all too close to taking that out offered to him; but what if he does? will he simply continue to keep his shirt on like he has for now, every day when they're together? and it isn't that he doesn't trust junpei with the knowledge — of course he does. but somehow, carrying junpei's burdens for him is far easier than letting him carry his burdens in return.
and yet, they promised. they promised. ]
... It's just going to upset you, [ he says finally, looking down and then up again, meeting junpei's eyes with a wordless apology. ]