[Caitlyn tries to stay strong, but tears well in her eyes anyway. It was always impossible for her to fully mask in front of Vi. Vi was her weakness. Her one safe space to actually let herself feel something, and now was no different.
She nuzzles into Vi's hand, closing her eyes and trying not to let herself think about what was looming so close by, taunting her.]
Their blood was on my hands, too.
[If she hadn't done what she did, Jinx's dinner party wouldn't have happened. There wouldn't have been an attack on the Council to that extreme. Maybe Jinx wouldn't have even gotten her hands on the hexgem. But because she meddled, so many things went wrong. And then-- she didn't take the shot. She had the perfect opportunity to stop Jinx, then and there, and she...didn't. So the death of the Council, and every death that came after was because of her. Viktor wouldn't have been the Herald if he hadn't died in that explosion. The few other people she loved wouldn't also be gone.
If Vi thinks she's the jinx, what does that make Caitlyn?]
Everything that went wrong-- it was because of my arrogance. I meddled when I shouldn't have. I didn't stop Jinx when I had the chance. My mother, Jayce, Viktor--- Piltover and Zaun? So many lives lost, and for what? I wanted to prove myself?
[She knows, deep down that logically, that makes zero sense. Caitlyn can't expect herself to be held accountable for all the things that Jinx, and ultimately Viktor did. But that's the fun thing about dreams. When you lose yourself in them, especially nightmares, things that make sense outside of them don't quite line up as well.
Even if she has forgiven Jinx, that doesn't erase all the guilt, and Caitlyn has carried so much of that since the day that hole was ripped into her heart.]
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She nuzzles into Vi's hand, closing her eyes and trying not to let herself think about what was looming so close by, taunting her.]
Their blood was on my hands, too.
[If she hadn't done what she did, Jinx's dinner party wouldn't have happened. There wouldn't have been an attack on the Council to that extreme. Maybe Jinx wouldn't have even gotten her hands on the hexgem. But because she meddled, so many things went wrong. And then-- she didn't take the shot. She had the perfect opportunity to stop Jinx, then and there, and she...didn't. So the death of the Council, and every death that came after was because of her. Viktor wouldn't have been the Herald if he hadn't died in that explosion. The few other people she loved wouldn't also be gone.
If Vi thinks she's the jinx, what does that make Caitlyn?]
Everything that went wrong-- it was because of my arrogance. I meddled when I shouldn't have. I didn't stop Jinx when I had the chance. My mother, Jayce, Viktor--- Piltover and Zaun? So many lives lost, and for what? I wanted to prove myself?
[She knows, deep down that logically, that makes zero sense. Caitlyn can't expect herself to be held accountable for all the things that Jinx, and ultimately Viktor did. But that's the fun thing about dreams. When you lose yourself in them, especially nightmares, things that make sense outside of them don't quite line up as well.
Even if she has forgiven Jinx, that doesn't erase all the guilt, and Caitlyn has carried so much of that since the day that hole was ripped into her heart.]