(he listens, although it takes a while for the words to fully process in his mind. with his eyes closed, he bends a little to press a kiss to the deceased's forehead before he stands. weakly, almost like his body cannot support all that he carries, slow steps with hands stuck in his pockets until he is in front of yu.
he can't look up to see him, but this is a conversation for the living.)
Dunno. I just don't--
(this is a nightmare, and the confirmation is the fact that his vision becomes impaired by the tears that flood his eyes. a sob, before he looks even more towards the floor, as to hide them.
he deserves this. that's all that he can think, that this is his nightmare, and this is not a fraction of whatever punishment he deserves.)
Everything always happens because you all can't. None of you could ever let me go, and for what? I'm not at all worth all this fucking trouble. He should have just put me off life support. It'd have saved everyone a lot of death and despair, including you.
cw suicide ideation
he can't look up to see him, but this is a conversation for the living.)
Dunno. I just don't--
(this is a nightmare, and the confirmation is the fact that his vision becomes impaired by the tears that flood his eyes. a sob, before he looks even more towards the floor, as to hide them.
he deserves this. that's all that he can think, that this is his nightmare, and this is not a fraction of whatever punishment he deserves.)
Everything always happens because you all can't. None of you could ever let me go, and for what? I'm not at all worth all this fucking trouble. He should have just put me off life support. It'd have saved everyone a lot of death and despair, including you.