expiationlogs | (catch-all/open) seas would rise when i gave the word;

[ A habit helpful to ingrain in your head in any kind of customer service job is to keep your eyes on the big spenders. Keep them happy, they'll keep buying, then you'll be happy. And while a mountain of cakes and cookies isn't exactly the top shelf alcohol they have on the menu, it's still something worth noting.

A politely smiling face will peek into Mikey's booth, gently making sure to be noticed before speaking, ]

Good afternoon, sir. Is everything treating you alright?

[He may be right, of course, but Yu has to wonder how much that really matters. But then...his relationship with the people he knows has always been a bit different. Even here, they're still with him. He hums softly, thoughtfully.]

The way my power works...the more people I get to know, the stronger my Personas become. [Even as he says it, he realizes this is a clumsy way to explain something he only partially understands. But the explanation isn't the point--] Even when I'm here, that power is a reminder of those bonds.

[Strength. He's not sure exactly when he pinpointed it, but it felt so fitting, at the time. It still does.]

I think...even if we leave, that'll still be true. That knowing you has made me stronger.

You're cute. Thanks for saying that, Yuchin.

(because that's a nice way to put it. he agrees that here, there are things that he knows he has changed, at least a little bit, at least regarding how he treats yu. it's the leader characteristic that he puts in a box around the other, a burden neither really need with each other.)

I think it's a matter of time before we find out, anyway.

(because, well, he knows. yu knows. and he's here. too good for his own good. it also almost feels like he's telling facts rather than from the heart. mechanical.)

I'm going to miss him though. Things went down like that, but Takemitchy is my hero.

[You're cute. Yu exhales a soft, breathy chuckle, nudging Mikey with a shoulder. It's true, after all. He's gone through his share of insecurity over the whole idea: does his ability mean he has no "true" self? Is he defined only by the people around him? It took a while to realize that part of it didn't matter, that the unbreakable bonds he forged were with people who wanted him around, whomever he might be.]

Maybe you're right. [In another time, he might add "We'll face it head on." "Let's do it together." Something like that. Right now...that's not really the point.]

The great Mikey's hero, huh. [Another soft chuckle as he moves slightly closer, finally relaxing his stance a bit, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the cliff.] Tell me about him? I didn't get to know him as well as I wanted.

(things mikey would rather not to think about. if yu's real self is defined only by the people around him, then what happens to mikey when the people who defined him are dead and each passing moment feels harder to control himself than the one before? oh, wait, that's exactly what he is here to think about it.

it's also cute that yu thinks manjiro would ever let him really deal with it. if he threw a fit about yu leaving to the island because he could die, it feels granted that manjiro would not let yu around him if he thought he could kill him. he knows that eventually, he will have to leave. it's the only way to keep these important people safe - it'd break his heart if they died, and even more so if manjiro's the cause.

right now, however, he isn't. right now, he's moving to sit between yu's legs, rest the back of his head against the other's shoulder and take in the view. the very nice toned arms yu has? well, manjiro wraps them around his waist in a hug.)

I don't know how to explain that boy to you, though. He is a huge crybaby, and also, he cries real ugly, too. He isn't strong like me, or Kenchin, or Baji, or what you'd expect from a gang higher-up... But he doesn't give up. It's a very violent life we lead, and even when he's an inch away from dying, he stands up. I'm weak when we compare it like that.

(HE IS OPENING UP 1%, YU!!!)

Edited 2024-03-18 21:02 (UTC)

Then what's your damage?

(why... are you... staring at him and his SWEETS (not the alcohol).)

(u half snake with a gazillion arms and HE IS THE ODD ONE?????)

And how is this place for you? Probably kinda shitty. I have sake at home if it makes you happy.

(isn't that kinda like an offering?)

(manjiro eats, and like clockwork, he gets sleepy. it never mattered to him where he might be when slumber holds him, he can fall asleep on this table, on the wall, standing if he is supported by something or someone, on someone's back - you name it. with alcohol, the sleepiness is even worse. he's tipsy, but man, he is SLEEPY.

so, when the man approaches, well. manjiro's head rests against his waist, and he-- oh, he is definitely asleep. good luck, sigma.)

(he did not expect someone to just rush and drift into the scene, so he slowblinks a little at the whole entrance this very tiny (hypocritical thinking) kid did. he gestures to the everything of the scene, the get up, the targets, the fact he is alone.)

Yo, you got any bullets that fit this thing?

[There is something about this moment that is so, so bittersweet, something Yu isn't fully grasping yet. Something about Takemichi, about the "curse" he claimed Mikey has, about the younger boy's future...

He leans his head on Mikey's shoulder, arms going around his waist. Whatever it is, it feels like Mikey is watching it come for him in real-time, like it's inching ever closer, a train that can't be avoided or derailed, waiting to crash through their lives. Is that the case? Is that how things have to be? Yu has fought gods and monsters for the power to decide his own fate. For humanity to decide their own fates. Can there really be such a thing as an unavoidable future?

... He doesn't want to think that's the case. But-- it seems like Mikey does.]

Everyone has a different strength, [he says softly, taking in those words.] That's why none of us should be alone.

[Maybe Mikey knows a little bit about that. The strengths one has as a leader are not always the strengths that the rest of the party has. That's why they're there. That's why a leader knows who to depend on, and when.]

Yeah, you're not wrong.

(his hand goes to the charm he wears beneath his uniform, with the picture of the founding members of the manji inside. yu is right, on that regard. kenchin is his moral compass, takemichi is drive, mitsuya his view of potential for their futures, pah-chin his compassion, and so the things he lacks have always been covered in the higher ups from the people he loves the most.

here, he isn't sure. he knows yu is his stability, a feeling of reliability, almost like the ground he stands on. he won't say anything about it, not exactly, but his head tilts so he can press a kiss to yu's jaw and settle more against him.)

I wish you could meet them. I really do.

[ a.

In all his time doing customer service he can honestly say this is never a problem he's had. He'll try...giving a gentle shake real quick. ]

Sir? Sir are you okay...?

(no response.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.)

[ Ah hell, this kid's out like a light. If he needs the sleep that bad Sigma kind of feels bad waking him up more forcefully, but he can't just leave them sleeping out in the open like this, right?

Well. Here's hoping they're not too heavy to scoop up into a fireman's carry. ]

[She was still tense as she scanned the area. Glancing at him, then spotting the target. For a second she just frowned at it, then put her own gun away. Safely on it's chain and inside her coat.

Then turning to look at the young man. Then sighing.]

No. [She hardly had enough for her own gun right now.] I've heard plenty of stores here stock them though.

(he's pure muscle, yes, but he's 56kg, sigma will live carrying him - because he won't wake up. instead, he'll wrap arms around the other, because damn, comfy...)

... Then I ain't gonna be here for long. The fuck you doin' here alone, though?

(no one just comes here willy nilly, he would figure. everything that matters is in the town, and he can't see a reason why come other than to do things that one couldn't do there.

the list is not that long.)

[ This might make the end goal of the plan difficult. Hm. See if he doesn't wake up from all the moving around Sigma will be doing to get there first.

Quietly explaining the situation and asking a few small favors from some employees, blankets and a few pillows will be arranged into a nice enough sleeping spot behind the bar. (Something he'd made sure to keep around once Dazai had decided this place was his home now, and...just never thought to remove them, Sigma supposes.)

Now, after all that let's see if sleeping beauty will let himself be lowered into the makeshift nest. ]

[Yu could spend hours listing the Personas associated with each and every one of his friends. Chariot -- Chie Satonaka -- Atavata. High Priestess -- Yukiko Amagi -- Kikuri-Hime. Those friends aren't here with him now --and boy does he miss them, all the time-- but he still feels their presence, their strength, their conviction. Their power is still here with him even if they're not.

Strength. That's how he thinks of Mikey. If the other boy went home tomorrow, Yu is sure he'd still feel that strength.]

I do, too. [He sighs into the touch, leaning against the other boy a bit. Mikey must miss his friends as much as Yu misses his, especially now that Takemichi is gone.]

(it takes him an hour to awake, poofy-haired, drowsiness lowering his eyelids, and a yawn to announce it. he feels comfortable, with the blanket, and the pillows... and is this the bar? since when is there a nap room in a bar?)

... Hello?

(manjiro's entire core of identity comes from the person he is in tokyo, someone he was taught to be from a young age. a small manjiro used to sit on the back of shinichiro's bike, riding with the people who smashed the tokyo underground into shape, wide, starry-eyed, and he still remembers telling his older brother the most important words that he could muster at that age - an idealistic dream.

'i'm going to be bigger than you, bro.'

and so, that's who he is. a violent man, who sets wars, wages them, protects his people through kicks and punches and blood, and yet, at most times, he yearns to be a kid. the cross he feels both fits just right on his back, but it also drags him down, combined with all the other burdens he feels are only his own. here, in aldrip, he's both these people, and now, on his own, nobody at all. he'd never stop waving the tokyo manji flag - all their fights, burdens, lives were given to manjiro. he can't take that lightly, and that's where he believes true strength lies. he can take, and he can take, and take a little bit more...

but then, he falters. his mind detaches, and he can't control himself, a fog of darkness comes clouds his vision, his feet move on their own, and he doesn't hate it. he needs it. like this, he can't falter, can't disappoint, can't be stopped... and it's horrifying, as much as he craves it.

yet, everyone is too good. yu is too good.

perhaps it's better if takemichi isn't here. god knows manjiro's hurt him enough. perhaps, just perhaps, it's better if he never sees anyone from home again. the things manjiro'd do to keep people safe from himself are nearly unspeakable. he doesn't want to. but if anyone would ever just see, without him having to talk it out, beg--

he can hold on a little longer. sleep listening to the heartbeat of a loved one, trying to commit it to memory for a lullaby when he leaves.

just a little longer. he can do that.)

Let's go home, Yuchin.

[There is something Yu is just beginning to see, here; a bigger picture coming together. Mikey the leader, the boy, the child; the darker side, something violent beneath the surface; showing strength through revenge. Yu knows that all of these can be him, the same as he, too, has many facets. It took him a long time to come to terms with that, the idea that he doesn't have just "one" persona, that he contains multitudes. Mikey is the same.

And he sees the distance in the other boy's eyes, watches him looking far into the future, waiting for something to catch up to him.

So what happens when it does? He, Yu, would try to protect his friends. He went into the TV world alone to confront Adachi; he'd do it again, even if he knows it wouldn't be right. Yosuke would sacrifice himself to save a friend. And Mikey? Would he leave them all behind, or stay and fight?... the answer seems clear, but he'd be a fool to think anyone else would allow it.

Maybe this was what Izanami meant, when she said he represented "hope." The constant need to see the best in everyone; the blind determination to look at everything as a surmountable obstacle. The obnoxious inability to give up and leave things the hell alone, as he's sure Adachi would say.

Yu watches the horizon for a few quiet moments. And yet somehow, unlike Mikey, he's looking not into the distance but at things right here and now. Let's go home. He exhales, squeezing his arms around the other boy tighter for a moment before letting go. He can't see the future and he can't get lost in the past. All he can do is deal with the things right in front of him. Be in the moment, as they say.]

Yeah. Let's go.

Edited 2024-03-26 00:00 (UTC)

(but he is a fool. perhaps a fool in many aspects - a fool to believe he could protect the ones he loves, a fool because he simply doesn't know what he's capable of. he's lived through so much, and yet, knows nothing - and when takemichi left him, on a timeline he isn't even aware of... he took the breath of everyone they ever cared about.

'when i killed the first time, i didn't feel anything and i thought that the difficulties of this world can be fixed with murder. all is well when you eliminate those who get in your way', he said, in a future that will most likely never happen. a future he would hate, a future he would fear. a future he gave in completely.

he doesn't want to here. he has a glimpse of what he can do, and he prefers to fight it on his on accord. very, very far away, so that doesn't happen. so, before they go, mikey's lips meet yu's in a kiss as breath-taking as the sunset behind them, like it could be the last.

every kiss is going to taste so bittersweet now.)

Stop getting distracted.

(bitch you kissed him)

Edited 2024-03-26 00:14 (UTC)

I could ask you the same thing.

[ But in another sense. The tough guy act is not convincing in the least! Ryuki knows (from experience) that one does not simply drink their woes away for nothing! (But little does he know Mikey's tough guy act is more than just an act...) ]

Drowning yourself in alcohol and sugar like that... it's not good for your health. Even if you're still too young to feel the long-term effects.

[ Oh, wait... ]

[ The nap room is in fact directly behind the bar, so Sigma busying his hands with cleaning glasses gets to hear the princess wake up. ]

Ah, good morning. Did you sleep well?

(catch-all/open) seas would rise when i gave the word;

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